Archive for May 2010

Does age difference matter in marriage?

May 24, 2010

Does age difference matter in marriage?Over the years, we have been asked if the age differential between people contemplating marriage really matters. Our answer – it depends!

In our thousands of interviews on six continents of the world, we have learned this – when you are truly in love, your age and the age of the one you love really doesn’t matter for the most part. But there is a reality to this notion as well. There are circumstances when the difference in age does matter.

When you are 17, contemplating marriage to someone who is 47, marriage is probably not a good idea. The life experiences of a 17-year old are very, very different from a person who is 47!

Our experience tells us that the closer in age two people in love are, the greater their chances of Building a Love That Lasts. Whether it is one year, five years, ten, or more, true love trumps everything else. The question really is more about “How do you know your are in love” versus “How old is the one you love?” Being IN love is far more important than an age difference between two people who purport to love each other.

So, what have we learned about age differences from our three decades of research? When the difference is greater than ten years the “success rate” starts to go down. In other words, it is generally true that the smaller the difference in ages, the greater the chance of having a successful marriage.

However, there are no magic elixirs when it comes to love. Being in love is more important than age. Age is relative. Age matters far less in a relationship than love. Love is timeless, of that you can be sure.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
For more marriage advice visit their website Simple Things Matter

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Is focusing on the children the most important part of being a parent?

May 12, 2010

Focusing on the children is not the most important part of being a parent. Quite the opposite is true for successfully married couples who have raised great children. The quality of the relationship between mom and dad trumps everything else. Get the relationship right and good things follow. Get it wrong and lots of bad things often happen! If couples want to raise great children, they will nurture their own relationship first and foremost as they raise their children.

Is it true that spending more time together is always better?

May 5, 2010

Time alone matters in a marriageThere is an old piece of “marriage advice” that goes like this, “The more time you spend together the better the relationship.” This is only true only up to a certain point. Many couples are of the mistaken notion that they are to be constantly attentive to their spouse. While their intentions are good, their desire to be attentive causes them to, in fact, interfere with the quality of their communicative relationship with their mate. The desire for too much closeness can inadvertently drive a wedge between husband and wife. Isn’t that ironic? The recognition and practice of the absolute need for privacy and aloneness is, in our judgment after analyzing thousands of interviews, a fundamental predisposition of successful marriages.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
For more marriage advice visit their website Simple Things Matter