Sometimes newlyweds make mistakes that could have been easily avoided. But, so much of marriage advice today is too complicated, too pie-in-the-sky, and too out of touch with contemporary marriage. In the end, the best advice we have learned over the years for newlyweds is like our recurring message – simple things matter in love and marriage!
As love and marriage experts, our research has revealed the top 5 mistakes newlyweds should NEVER make:
1. Never go to bed mad at each other. Going to bed angry is toxic! This is the number one piece of advice from successfully married couples around the world. Don’t listen to the “so called experts” who say you can sleep on it and talk about it in the morning when you are calmer. This is just NOT true!
2. Don’t tally or keep score of wins and losses. There are no winners and losers in a great marriage. “Keeping score” or holding grudges is NOT OK. You shouldn’t cast blame when things go wrong. Don’t be afraid to argue and debate an issue. Just remember to fight fair and learn to argue effectively.
3. Don’t mount up a “butt load” of debt when you first get married. Wracking up too much debt is pure poison when it comes to your marriage. Keep the use of credit cards under control. The single greatest cause of divorce and marital discourse is money.
4. Don’t assume that marriage is fair, just, and beautiful all the time. Just like life, marriage comes with its ups and downs. If you go into marriage believing it will be like a Hollywood movie with roses, sunshine, and no responsibilities, you are in for a big disappointment. Every successful marriage has to deal with setbacks.
5. Never lie to your spouse or make promises you cannot keep. Little white lies and broken promises erode the glue that holds marriages together. Even small lies can form a habit of dishonesty in your relationship. Trust is the foundation of any lasting relationship.
Creating a successful marriage is not always the easiest thing to do. Your visiting our blog suggests you are highly interested in making your marriage work! And truthfully, we have learned over 30 years of marriage research that there are proven effective ways to ensure a happy and healthy marriage. In fact, we took hundreds of tips from the thousands of happy couples we interviewed and put them into our award-winning and bestselling book, Building a Love that Lasts.
**Today, you can see how you stack up to the best marriages around the world. Take the Marriage Quiz to assess your chances of achieving a successful marriage of your own.
By Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz
America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts