Posts Tagged ‘bullying’

Stop! Don’t Marry Him

April 5, 2015
Don't Marry Him by American's Love and Marriage Experts

Don’t Marry Him

He seems like the perfect prince charming. But 7 warning signs tell you to STOP—You’ll NEVER change these 7 things about him.

You think you are totally in love with the guy. You even think he’s marriage material. He says all the right things, but over time … you begin to notice that his actions don’t match his words. He tells you that he respects you, but dismisses your opinions. He claims he wants a shared relationship, but then he makes all the decisions.

Sorry, ladies … these are the behaviors of a “loser.”

After more than 33 years of marriage research conducted around the world, we’ve learned that ignoring the warning signs of a loser comes at great risk to your health, happiness, and welfare. Heed the warning signs … before it’s too late.

Our favorite questions for a woman whose marriage has failed are: “Why? … What went wrong? Why do you think your marriage failed?” The answer is almost always the same: “I thought I could fix him.”

There is one truth you can take to the bank, and that is: you CANNOT change a man! Either accept him the way he is—warts and all—or move on.

Remember, personalities are well established by the early to late teen years (some even say by age 7). If you think you can change him, you are potentially setting yourself up for an unsatisfying and failed relationship.

The seven telltale behaviors that our marriage research reveals you cannot change or fix in the man you are thinking about marrying:

  1. His controlling behavior is a constant occurrence. We often hear women say to us, “He always wants control,” or, “If I want to go to movie X, he buys tickets for movie Y.” When your guy exhibits behaviors that telegraph he clearly wants complete control of your relationship, be very wary. A true loving relationship does not have bosses.

 Here is the link to the other six warning signs that say STOP don’t marry him!

For more tips to enhance your relationship visit SimpleThingsMatter.com and get the best-selling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts. Available wherever books are sold.

By Dr. Charles and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz
America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts

Discover what happily married women know about what makes a man marriage material and learn other revealing truths in How to Marry the Right Guy – the latest multiple award winning book by the Doctors.

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Love by bullying never works

February 6, 2010

Love by bullying never worksDon’t you just hate bullies! They try to get what they want by bullying you, by intimidating you, and by making you feel inferior to them. If you are like us, this NEVER works! Yet, so many good folks succumb to the bully. And we wonder why?

So what is a bully? In the simplest terms, a bully is someone who can’t get what he/she wants through normal means. What they want is power. When you deny them that power they resort to forceful means to get what they want.

Here is how it works in love and marriage. One of the folks in the relationship wants something – be it a new car, a new apartment, a new dishwasher, or a new toy of some variety. The other person involved in the relationship does not. As you might guess, all heck breaks loose!

The “bully” in the relationship must get what he/she wants. So instead of acting rationally (i.e., Do we have enough money to pay for this?), the bully resorts to name-calling (i.e., You are always keeping me from buying things!”), intimidation (“If you don’t let me buy this I am walking out the door.”), or they resort to making you feel inferior (i.e., How could someone like you be so stupid?”).

If you are like most people, you would rather “have peace.” So in the interest of maintaining harmony in your relationship, you fall prey to the bullying – you give them what they want.

But here is the deal – this strategy never works! You give them what they want and they then do it to you again! You always succumb to their wishes. You always lose. Letting them win is a bad idea.

Read the entire article about why Love by Bullying Never Works
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
For more marriage advice visit their website Simple Things Matter