Living a Positive Life

By Charles D. Schmitz, Ph.D.

I just turned 70 years young less than three weeks ago! In a few months, my wife, Liz and I, will celebrate 50 years of successful marriage together. Our marriage is proof-positive that a small town Missouri boy can marry a California surfing girl and live happily every after! We have been blessed. We cannot imagine life without each other.

These milestones have caused me to increasingly reflect on the purpose of my life and its meaning.

Recent events in Our Town and across the USA have caused me to want to say something positive to help bring us together – dedicated to a better Saint Louis and to a better country for all of us.

And frankly, I am growing weary of all the negativism in the world today. There is so much to celebrate in life, yet our media, our citizens, our friends, and many others, feel the need to share news that is depressing – news that brings us down. News that is bad. But there is a better way.

Over time, the negativism takes a toll. But here’s the truth – it doesn’t have to be that way. There is hope!

I am at the point in my life where it is hard to imagine living anywhere else but the USA. I always get goose bumps thinking about the promise we hold in our collective and individual hands! Being part of this extraordinary national community is among the greatest joys and pleasures of my life.

As many of you know, Liz and I are passionate about our work, our people, and our community, particularly the Saint Louis community. The important work we engage in on a daily basis – here and around the world – and the many contributions we make, help the world become a better place, especially for families and children. The good we do as citizens in a free and democratic society will help determine the fate of the world. I know each of you understands the power for good you hold in your collective hands.

Your contributions today to your local community, the USA, and to the world community marks a significant accomplishment for you and those you love, and who love you. You will continue to head down the road of life. All that you have learned will serve you well.

However, I would like to remind you, your accomplishments might not be the most important things you take with you. Your life and the way you live it is your key to opening doors. But as you stand in the open doorway, you have a choice about how you will fill the room you face.

Each of you has the power to do something meaningful in affecting the lives of others. You have the power to bring goodness, justice and joy to children and families. To do these things will unquestionably bring the same to you. What a golden key you hold in your hands!

Link to find out how you can use your power to have a positive life

By Dr. Charles and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz
America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts


Having conducted research with happily married couples for over 35 years and been married themselves for 50 years, the Doctors give advice that you know you can trust.

Discover what happily married women know about what makes a man marriage material and learn other revealing truths in How to Marry the Right Guy—the latest multiple award winning book by the Doctors.

Do Opposites Really Attract?

Can You Be Happy With Someone Whose Views Are Opposite Of Yours?

In our marriage interview protocol we ask each couple about their political beliefs and affiliations. And one of our major conclusions based on 33 years of interviews is that the age-old adage “opposites attract” is FALSE! Rarely have we interviewed a successfully married couple that had political, religious, and other heartfelt beliefs that were diametrically in opposition to each other. In the real world, that rarely happens.

Imagine this—a happily married couple who roots for the Cardinals and the Cubs or the Yankees and the Red Sox or the Black Hawks and the Blues. These may be very RARE exceptions, but are hardly the norm. Forget about it! Opposites rarely attract in sports or in politics. This notion is an urban myth. Opposites have fundamentally opposite values. And for the most part, rarely the twain shall meet.

Here is another example of why opposites don’t attract in a political sense. We have only very rarely met a couple whose political views were diametrically opposed on issues of abortion, the death penalty, stem cell research, man-made climate change, gun control, immigration, same-sex marriage, taxes, welfare, etc., who had a successful marriage or long-term relationship. Almost never happens!

Let’s face it, married couples and those in successful couple relationships, have enormous influence over each other. When those considering a love relationship fundamentally disagree on most issues of importance, they are HIGHLY unlikely to match up.

Over the years, we have heard some pundits refer to the “marriage gap.” The “marriage gap” suggests that there are those married couples and people in love who do not share common political beliefs and hence; their relationship usually doesn’t survive. We share this belief.

While there are, indeed, successful couples that do NOT have common political beliefs that have a marriage or relationship that survives, this is rarely the case. Make no mistake about it, your mate selection is directly related to your belief system—be it political, sports related, religious, or otherwise. Feelings about these issues are intense and are not to be dismissed casually. Who you select as your mate is intertwined with your belief system and theirs.

Dare to be different when it comes to selecting someone to love, but remember your chances of having a successful and long-term love affair with someone whose belief system is very different from yours is low, very low! As you are making that all important decision about who to marry and spend the rest of your life with, you need to consider the consequences of choosing a mate who is different from you versus someone who shares your likes, loves, views, positions, and passions.

In fact, those who are in love and stay in love for a lifetime are NOT opposites. They are, for the most part, soul mates. We would offer this advice to those who believe the urban myth that “opposites attract” in love and marriage. Don’t believe it. Don’t take the chance.

Over your lifetime, the most important influence in your life will be the one you truly love. Choose wisely! Select someone compatible with you. Being avant-garde with your choice will only come back to haunt you in the future. Making a positive life choice will mean more to you in the long run than your attempts to be politically correct (PC) or trendy. Your choice in a mate is, after all, about your happiness and theirs in the long run. Compatibility is a virtue. Don’t spoil your chance of finding true love for a lifetime by taking a position that important issue differences in a relationship do not matter. They do!

By Dr. Charles and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz
America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
On the verge of having been married for 50 years, the Doctors give advice that you know you can trust.

Discover what happily married women know about what makes a man marriage material and learn other revealing truths in How to Marry the Right Guy—the latest multiple award winning book by the Doctors.