Posts Tagged ‘marriage experts’

Do Great Marriages Live A Perfect Life?

March 2, 2013

Perfect_marriage

Too often, people assume that those who have the most successful marriages live in some kind of la-la land – a perfect world – a place where everything is fair, just, and beautiful – a Nirvana land!  Here’s the truth – nothing could be further from the truth

We have constantly and relentlessly pursued this question in our interviews in 47 countries on all seven continents of the world – “Do the great marriages live a perfect life?”  And the answer is – absolutely NO!

From the thousands of successfully married couples we have interviewed there is a “most important lesson”  – even couples with the happiest marriages have experienced severe challenges to their relationship.  These couples have reported to us unimaginable challenges to their marriage.  Couples have shared with us stories about the death of children, financial burdens that nearly destroyed their relationship, the horrors of losing a job, the burdens of serious health issues, the pressures of child rearing problems and the destruction caused by a transfer to another city for a work assignment that neither of them wanted, to name only a few.

These are couples that have been happily and blissfully married for a long time.  These are the couples that know the secrets of a great marriage and a great relationship.  The best marriages, the best relationships we have ever witnessed or interviewed – have all reported to us a litany of the great challenges to their marriage throughout their years together.

Ah, but the truth is this – the best marriages report that the challenges to their marriage ACTUALLY strengthened their marriage and their relationship.

The essence of their story is this – “These challenges to our relationship actually made our relationship better!”

So what is the message here?  Like all of the most important messages about love and relationships we have learned, the important message is a simple one – challenges make you stronger.  And in the end, challenges – properly dealt with together as a team – will make your relationship stronger.

People who have gone through the wars of life together will always choose their mate in battle.  People who truly love each other will always say this to us – we are a team and we will always support each in our times of need.

The Good, the bad, and the ugly – dealing with challenges together is the heart of the best relationships.

Never, never assume that the best marriages live in some “Cinderella land.”  The best marriages have survived heart-wrenching challenges.  Never minimize what the best marriages and relationships have gone through.

The challenges they have experienced have made their relationship stronger.  Never underestimate the power of challenge to the establishment of a great relationship.

Creating a successful marriage is not always the easiest thing to do.  Your visiting our Simple Things Matter blog suggests you are highly interested in making your marriage work!  And truthfully, we have learned over 30 years of marriage research that there are proven effective ways to ensure a happy and healthy marriage.  In fact, we took hundreds of tips from the thousands of happy couples we interviewed and put their marriage advice into our award-winning and bestselling book, Building a Love that Lasts.

**Today, you can see how you stack up to the best marriages around the world. Take the Marriage Quiz to assess your chances of achieving a successful marriage of your own.

By Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz
America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts

It Is NOT Enough To Just Be In Love

February 21, 2013
Love is not enough without friendship.

Best Friends

In our thousands of interviews with couples who have lived and worked on all of the world’s seven continents, we have heard the popular refrain over and over—”I love my partner.”  “I love my fiancée.”  “I love my spouse.”  I love, I love!    We admit it – people who say they are in love, probably are!   But is love enough to sustain the best relationships?

Is love enough to have a great marriage?  That is the most important question to ask yourself.

Here’s the rub – being IN love is easy.  It expresses an emotion common to those relationships that have transcended the millennia.  Being in love is central to the best marriages – to the best relationships between two people.  But being in love is NOT enough!

Here is what we know from our thousands of interviews with those who have had a successful and long-lasting relationship with another human being – no relationship has ever passed the test of time without friendship.

One of the questions of our interview protocol is this – “Who is your best friend?”  While we ask this question in every interview, there are two answers that stand out for us as to the importance of friendship in the best relationships.

We got our first most telling response in Rio de Janeiro.  After asking this question of the so-called “Best Couple in Rio” we got answers that drove home this point to us.   When we asked the most prominent physician in the magnificent city of Rio who his best friend was, he named TEN people and NONE was his wife of 37 years!

And it gets worse – when we asked his wife who her best friend was, she gave ten names and, like him, the list of names did not include her husband, the prominent physician she had been married to for the same 37 years!

Here’s another good example of our point.  When we interviewed a couple in Sydney, Australia a few years ago, as usual, we asked the same question – “Who is your best friend?”

To our surprise, both people in this so-called loving relationship, did not consider each other their best friend.  We probed and we probed, but alas, neither would admit that their spouse was their best friend.

The simple truth of the matter is this – these two couples professed to “love” each other, but they did not “like” each other.  They were clearly not best friends. In fact, when we asked clarifying questions, it became quite clear that neither couple had friendship within their respective relationships.

Make no mistake about it – loving someone is NOT enough.  If they are not your best friend, your relationship with them will not pass the test of time.  Your relationship with them can never be judged as a great success.

You see, the standard principle in the most successful relationships around the world is this – your partner IS your best friend!  There is no equivocation when it comes to this point.  Best friends provide each other total trust, loyalty, mutual respect, admiration, encouragement, support, caring, and much more.

If the one you love is not your best friend, your relationship is in serious trouble and, in all likelihood, will not become one of the lifelong love stories we have heard around the world on all seven continents.

So, we will ask you what we have asked every couple we have interviewed across the continents – is the one you purport to love really your best friend?  If they are not, you are not really in love for a lifetime .

In the best marriages and loving relationships, being best friends trumps everything else.  There are no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it.

Love well!  More importantly, like well!

Creating a successful marriage is not always the easiest thing to do. Your visiting our Simple Things Matter blog suggests you are highly interested in making your marriage work! And truthfully, we have learned over 30 years of marriage research that there are proven effective ways to ensure a happy and healthy marriage. In fact, we took hundreds of tips from the thousands of happy couples we interviewed and put them into our award-winning and bestselling book, Building a Love that Lasts.

**Today, you can see how you stack up to the best marriages around the world. Take the Marriage Quiz to assess your chances of achieving a successful marriage of your own.

By Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz
America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts

 

The Economics of a Good Marriage – Dealing with Finances

June 25, 2012

The best marriages can survive everything—including tough economic times.  In fact, the best marriages don’t blame, castigate, or chastise each other in tough economic times.  They work together to make ends meet and to prepare for tomorrow.

Balancing the family budget requires teamwork.  It requires common goals.  It most certainly requires family support.  People in love support each other through thick and thin – through tough financial times and uncertainty.

People in love don’t blame, castigate, or chastise each other in tough economic times.  They work together to make ends meet and to prepare for tomorrow.

There is a natural tendency in tough times to blame the one you love for your collective misfortune.  There is, sadly, the desire to find a scapegoat when times get tough.  There is, unfortunately, the need to find someone to blame when your economic fortunes go south.  But it doesn’t have to be that way because the truth is, there usually is no one to blame for your misfortune.

People in love don’t wallow in self-pity.  They grab “the bull by the horns” and work for solutions – recognizing that running a household is not easy.  Making a family work is, clearly, difficult even in the best of times.  But the unequivocal truth is this – if you don’t view your relationship as one requiring teamwork, all is lost.  If you don’t work together to address head-on the economic challenges of your relationship with each other, there is little hope of success.

Whether you lost your job due to downsizing or whether you had to take a pay cut to keep the job you have, always remember this, what sustains your relationship is being in love with someone you trust – someone you would trust with you love, your sacred honor, and with your life.

In summary, here are the seven most important actions you can take to deal with your financial issues together:

  1. Approach all financial problems as a team, setting goals for resolving your financial setbacks.  These are after all our problems not my problems and your problems. Agreeing on a course of action together provides the clarity of purpose necessary for finding a solution.
  2. Communicate openly about all financial issues in your relationship.  You are in this together.  Never make a major purchase without talking it over with your spouse and sleeping on it.  You would be surprised at the number of purchases you don’t make if you sleep on it!  Financial communication and sharing is the best insurance that you both agree on the purchase.  It prevents a serious fault finding session later, if the decision was a bad one from a financial point of view. 

3. Don’t run up a “butt load” of debt.  This is the number one cause of stress in marital relationships. Too much month at the end of each paycheck makes it tough to relax and enjoy life together.  Work out a budget together and stick to it.  Put off purchasing anything that you can until you save enough money to pay for it.

4.  Don’t blame each other if things go wrong.  The blame game doesn’t work in love and marriage.

5.  Don’t wallow in self-pity; it is a wasted emotion.  No financial problem has ever been solved by feeling sorry for yourself or your situation.  Climbing out of financial difficulties takes focus and a positive team approach.

6.  Take ACTION today to begin addressing your financial issues together.  When you are in love being the Lone Ranger doesn’t earn you bonus points.

7.  Celebrate each time you have a financial success such as paying off a credit card or finding a way to cut expenses.  Fiscal responsibility is a virtue.  Taking time to celebrate together creates the feeling that the next goal is even more achievable.

Times do occasionally get tough, but here’s the bottom line – if you have a loving and trusting relationship with someone, believe in that.  If you love someone completely, then understand that your true love will sustain you through the best of times, and the worst of times.

The financial difficulties you are experiencing will improve if you work together to find solutions and build a team approach to handling money matters in your marriage.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
For more marriage advice visit their website Simple Things Matter

Is the Seven-Year Itch Real in Marriage?

May 29, 2012

Seven Year Itch is Real

According to the available research evidence, there are several periods in a marriage that seem, on average, to be particularly troublesome – the first year, the seventh year, the fifteenth year, and the 30th year.  Marriages that survive and thrive beyond 30 years have virtually no chance of ending in divorce!

Our focus in this article is the Seven-Year Itch, so widely reported in the popular media.  Data from the U.S. Census Bureau would suggest that the Seven-Year Itch is, in fact, real.

Some of the most interesting facts about marriage and divorce have come from the U.S. Census Bureau.

Several years ago, the Census Bureau issued a press release entitled “Most People Make Only One Trip Down the Aisle, But First Marriages Shorter.”  The fact reported in the press release that piqued our interest the most was:  “On average, first marriages that end in divorce last about eight years.”  This is the phenomenon often called the “Seven-Year Itch.”

The more basic question is, how do you stay faithful to the one you love and keep your loving relationship healthy and strong so it survives.  We offer these seven tips to help you avoid the Seven-Year Itch and become one of those couples building a love that lasts:

1.   Understand that the occasional temptation to betray the trust of the one you love through infatuation with another person is a perfectly normal feeling when it comes to love and marriage.  Being infatuated with another person doesn’t make you less human.  Accept that these feelings are natural.

2.  Actually acting on the feelings of infatuation and temptation impulses is not normal and destroys the underlying foundation of a marriage.  Take time to fully think through the consequences before you make that choice.  There is no mistake about it, cheating on your spouse is deadly to the trust in your relationship.

3.  Recognize that continuing and recurring fantasies and infatuations about another person is a strong indicator of something amiss in your relationship with your spouse.

4.  The “turn the corner rule”—is to address the issue head-on with your loving partner.  Failure to do so will doom your relationship to the ash-heap of lost love.

5. Love takes hard work.  Frankly, sometimes you determine that your loving relationship is lost.  But more likely, you discover that you truly love your spouse. You must save this relationship by committing to the hard work it will take to rebuild the love.

6.  Seek help!  Sometimes couples turn to a marriage counselor.  Others learn how to make their relationship work by reading what others, including us, have discovered.  You can learn so much about your relationship by “discovering” what others have already learned!

7.  Sometimes you have to “fish or cut bait.”  The reality is that some marriages cannot be saved.  But hopefully an examination will reveal your relationship is worth saving.  You should always work towards that end if you are to avoid the Seven-Year Itch.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
For more marriage advice visit their website Simple Things Matter

Does a Successful Marriage Come with a Guarantee?

January 10, 2012

As our loyal readers know, we have been researching successful marriage around the world for nearly three decades. In our travels throughout 47 countries in search of the best marriages we are often asked, “Are there ways to ensure that a marriage will succeed?” The answer is of course, “no.” Life, love, and marriage do not come with absolute guarantees. Marriage does not come with a warranty.

Let us hasten to add, however, you can greatly increase the odds that your marriage will last for a lifetime if your profile closely resembles the 15 predictors of a successful marriage discovered as a result of our 30 years of research in 47 countries.

The “15 predictors of a successful marriage” are:

1. It stands to reason that you and the one you love must first pass the Marriage Quiz. If you can’t get out of the starting gate with a successful marriage, the rest doesn’t matter. Take the Quiz and if you both receive a score of 18 or higher on the Marriage Quiz, you have met the first pre-requisite of a successful marriage.

2. Wait until you are at least 25+ to get married. Couples who get married after the age of 25 are far more likely to stay married than those who get married sooner. Experience and wisdom come with age.

3. Have an income-producing job with stability before you get married. Here’s what we know, couples with annual incomes over $50,000 (vs. under $25,000) experience a drastically reduced risk of divorce.

4. Do not have children in the first year of your marriage. Nora Ephron once said, “Having children is like throwing a hand grenade into a marriage!” Children are wonderful, but they bring stress and challenges to a marital relationship, especially to a new marriage. Bring children into the world when your marriage is ready for them.

5. Being spiritual and/or religious is good for your marriage. Couples that consider themselves religious or spiritual (vs. not) are considerably less likely to get divorced. Faith and spirituality contribute to the sense of oneness felt by successfully married couples – a necessary prerequisite to a long and happy marriage.

6. Focus on getting an education that includes post-secondary training. College educated couples have a much less chance of divorce than those with only a high school diploma. Education almost always leads to enlightenment and understanding and more tolerance for the views of others – so critically important in successful marriages.

7. Make sure your spouse is your best friend. When someone asks you who your best friend is, the honest answer must be, “My spouse.” There is no other acceptable answer to this question. Being in love is never enough without friendship.

8. Always fight fair in your marriage. All married couples argue—the difference is how they argue. Arguing is healthy for a marriage. Just fight fair and never make your arguments personal and hurtful!

9. Never lose your individual identity or subjugate your individual strengths just because you got married. While in many ways “two becomes one” in the best marriages, losing the sense of “who you are” hurts your marriage.

10. Never engage in acts of infidelity. While some marriages survive infidelity, the overwhelming majority do not. Think long and hard about what you will lose before you engage in infidelity – before you violate the most sacred of marital trusts.

11. Always allow time to be alone – for both you and your spouse. We have learned over the past three decades of research that every human being has a fundamental predisposition to be alone. Allow yourself time to be alone to your thoughts each day. Extending the same opportunity to your spouse will pay huge dividends for your marriage.

12. Talk about anything and everything! Marriages thrive on open communication and honest discussion. The most successfully married couples we have interviewed around the world tell us that they have learned to communicate frequently, fairly, openly, and honestly. Mum is not the word in marriages that work!

13. Always show mutual respect and admiration for each other. The best marriages repeatedly engage in acts of kindness towards each other with no expectation of something in return. They work hard to understand each other’s needs and wants. But remember – these behaviors take daily practice!

14. The greatest joy in life for both you and your spouse is spending time with each other. If you do not feel this way, you do NOT fit the profile of the most happily and successfully married couples we have interviewed around the world. There is no substitute for togetherness when it comes to a happily married couple.

15. Understand that all marriages go through seasons – much like the seasons of nature. Those marriages that last over time started with the simple planting of a seed. The seed was nourished over time. Love grown with tender and loving care matures into fully-grown love that can withstand the tests of time.

These predictors associated with the best marriages do not occur by accident or happenstance. Heed the advice and the odds are in your favor for a lifetime of marital happiness. Ignore the predictors and do so at your own peril. The choice is yours.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
For more marriage advice visit their website Simple Things Matter

Seven Warning Signs of Marriage Problems

September 22, 2011

Marriage Problems - Marriage Advice During our many radio and television interviews over the years we are often asked this simple question – “How will I know my marriage is in trouble?’ Our research has identified the answer to this very important. Here are the Seven Telltale Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble:

1. You fight and argue much more often than before and do so unfairly.

Fact is, you have nothing nice to say to or about each other anymore. You love to nitpick at each other. Your teasing isn’t fun – it is now painful and hurtful. You use each other as a personal pincushion!

Sadly, your arguments are repeatedly about the same subjects. You are increasingly critical of each other, you fight constantly, and you no longer fight fair.

As we have said many times before – it is okay to argue – all successfully married couples do – but the truth is this, successfully married couples have learned how to fight fair. Their arguments do not become personal and attack oriented.

2. One or both of you show increasing disrespect for each other.

In failing marriages, there are growing signs of disrespect. Resentment and contempt have replaced patience and love. You go out of your way to avoid being together.

And sadly, when you are away from your spouse you are happier than when you are with them. Having fun with your mate seems to be a thing of the past.

When mutual respect and understanding fail, your marriage is well on the way to its end. Make no mistake about that.

To see the other five warning signs that your marriage is in trouble, see the entire article: Seven Warning Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
For more marriage advice visit their website Simple Things Matter

How to Fight Fair in a Marriage

July 11, 2011

Couple Fighting“Is fighting in a marriage alright?” This is the question we are often asked. The simple answer is, “Yes!” When a husband and wife fight, they are engaging in a perfectly normal and expected part of what it means to be married. In fact, disagreement between two people in love is actually healthy for their relationship. To argue or not argue is NOT the question! The question should be, “How do we fight fairly and effectively?”

Learning how to fight fair and to make appropriate compromises will go a long way towards keeping a relationship strong. Compromise is rarely ever 50/50. Some days it is 90/10; some days it is 60/40; and some days it really is 50/50.

The truth is, compromise is part of what marriage is all about. Whether it is what to make for dinner, where to live or what color to paint the living room, the two of you have to make the decisions together that both of you can support after the decision is made. Sometimes arguments can actually – pardon the pun – get to the heart of the matter.

Fighting and arguing are just as much a part of marriage as sex. It is a natural part of relating to another human being.

Over the years, our thousands of interviews with successfully married couples around the world have revealed seven ways to fight fair and they are:

1. Fight in a calm manner. That means don’t shout or throw things or rant about the situation. Don’t take a position of anger or hostility. Think about what you are going to say before it actually comes flowing out of your mouth.

2. No name-calling or ugly verbiage about your spouse. Don’t let the argument degrade into a battle of personal insults. It doesn’t address the issues and can do lasting damage to your relationship even. You can’t take back your words!

3. You are an adult, act like it. Don’t have a temper tantrum! Don’t just sit there looking mad without saying anything. Engage in the conversation with the thought of how can we solve this problem together as adults.

4. Keep the argument logical and focused on the issues at hand. Don’t wander off topic. Determine what the problem is, what issues need to be dealt with and what are the possible solutions. If you focus on determining which solution would work best, it keeps you moving towards an end result.

5. Don’t cast blame. It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. You share the problems together and you have to share the solutions together. What you discover is that when you can arrive at a solution by working as a team, the two of you can tackle anything that comes your way.

6. Don’t hold grudges. As soon as the issue has been resolved, forget it and move on. The worst thing you can do is resurrect old battles and scars. That means no gloating if you were right and no reminding him or her constantly about how mad you still are. Couples with great marriages tell us that they have a short memory when it comes time to their past arguments. That is the way it should be.

7. As we have said many times before, NEVER go to bed mad at each other. Settle your fight before you go to bed, no matter how long it takes. You can defer the ultimate decision on an issue until further discussion the next day, but you can’t go to bed mad at each other! This is the number one piece of advice given to us by the thousands of happily married couples that we have interview over the past 30 years around the world.

Remember, it is perfectly okay to argue and debate with your spouse. Better solutions are often arrived at when you engage in wholesome debate. Learning how to argue effectively is critically important to a healthy marriage and to a healthy relationship.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
For more marriage advice visit their website Simple Things Matter

How to Bullet Proof Your Marriage

April 10, 2011

Love and Marriage Experts Your marriage and relationship can survive if you just do the simple things that matter everyday. If you want to bullet proof your marriage here are the seven most important things you can do:

1. Nurture your relationship with each other first and foremost. The relationship between husband and wife trumps everything else in a marriage. Get it right and good things follow. Get it wrong and lots of bad things often happen!

2. Make a concerted effort to keep the flame of your love affair alive with each other everyday. Never let boredom take over your marriage.

3. Enhance your love relationship by providing each other occasional time for privacy and aloneness. Time alone is good for the soul; it nourishes the spirit.

4. Approach all challenges with teamwork and open communication. Never be judgmental, since passing judgment on an idea can often lead to the death of open and honest debate between two people.

5. Don’t blame each other when things get tough, as casting blame never solved a problem. Saying “It’s your fault” is a sure way to cause an unnecessary argument.

6. Don’t wallow in self-pity; it is a wasted emotion.

7. While love is simple to understand, people don’t always do the simple things necessary to make love last. Being IN love is easy, but making love last for a lifetime takes hard work. Successful marriage is an accumulation of having done the simple things each day.

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
For more marriage advice visit their website Simple Things Matter

The “We” versus “Me” and “You” in great marriages

February 23, 2011

Great marriages require We versus You and MeOne of the key ingredients of a successful marriage is a feeling of togetherness – we are in this together and are stronger because of our relationship. While the importance of togetherness is easy to understand, for many couples it is difficult to put into practice in their relationship.

Happily married couples become one without losing the individual identities of each other. Their relationship is NOT focused on you and me, but rather it is all about WE!

Here are the three most important actions you can take to build togetherness as reported from our thousands of interviews with happily married couples:

1. Be the number one cheerleader for your spouse. Support your spouse in every way that you can. Let your partner know just how important they are to you and to the rest of the world. Perhaps the best help that you can give your spouse is to give them the confidence they need to become all that they can be in everything that they endeavor to do. Be your spouse’s strongest supporter. Become their cheerleader. Remember that when your spouse reaches the top of the mountain, you will be standing there with them.

2. Learn how to use comprise as part of daily living in your marriage. No one can have it all his or her way. We share the bed, the toothpaste, the car, the house, and the bills. While this sounds so simple, it can cause some unusual challenges as the two individuals in a marriage have to discuss and work out mutually agreeable arrangements for such minor issues as who uses the shower first and who takes out the trash, as well as major issues such as where to live, if children will be a part of the family, and what car to purchase. Discuss how the two of you will make decisions. When you share a marriage, you must learn the art of compromise—giving a little to gain a lot.

3. Carry the burdens of your marriage on four shoulders, not just two. Helpfulness should become such a matter of habit that you feel and act like a winning team. Both of you individually are good, but the two of you working together can be a dynamite team. The old saying that two heads are better than one is very true in a marriage. Ideas that the two of you generate can be better than most ideas generated alone. As you begin working together you will learn to sense when your spouse needs help, even when they do not ask for it. You will have a “sixth sense” that tells you when your spouse is in need. Sharing life’s burdens on four shoulders is certainly easier than on just two.

Successfully married couples report the importance they feel of always being able to count on their spouse for moral support when they are down in the dumps. This comes from the togetherness they have established in their everyday interactions with each other.

Three marriage rules you should break

July 14, 2010

For years there have been marriage “rules” passed down from generation to generation. During our 27 years of research interviewing thousands of successfully married couples on six continents of the world, we discovered some marriage “rules” that truly helped couples build lasting love. On the other hand, we also discovered marriage “rules” that are not only silly, but can even be downright damaging to building successful relationships.

1. “The more time you spend together the better the relationship.” Many couples are of the mistaken notion that they are to be constantly attentive to their spouse. While their intentions are good, their desire to be attentive causes them to, in fact, interfere with the quality of their communicative relationship with their mate. Isn’t that ironic? The recognition and practice of the absolute need for privacy and aloneness is, in our judgment after analyzing thousands of interviews, a fundamental predisposition of successful marriages.

2. “Focusing on the children is the most important part of being a parent.” Quite the opposite is true for successfully married couples who have raised great children. The quality of the relationship between mom and dad trumps everything else. Get the relationship right and good things follow. Get it wrong and lots of bad things often happen! If couples want to raise great children, they will nurture their own relationship first and foremost as they raise their children.

3. “Great sex is essential to a great a marriage.“ Over the years we have interviewed thousands of successfully married couples, and most report a reasonable degree of satisfaction with their sex life. But here is our most important research finding concerning this issue – no marriage was ever saved or made successful because the couple had a great sex life! And more importantly, when we ask successfully married couples how important sex is to the success of their marriage – to rank on a scale of 1-10 with 10 high – the average rank was only 6! Read more about sex in a marriage

It is important to understand the source of the marriage “rule” and the supporting research before putting that “rule” into practice in your relationship.
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For hundreds of practical tips to strengthen your love, get the bestselling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage (Jossey-Bass/Wiley 2010) Available wherever books are sold. Learn more about America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
For marriage and relationship advice visit the Doctors’ website Simple Things Matter