Love by bullying never works

Love by bullying never worksDon’t you just hate bullies! They try to get what they want by bullying you, by intimidating you, and by making you feel inferior to them. If you are like us, this NEVER works! Yet, so many good folks succumb to the bully. And we wonder why?

So what is a bully? In the simplest terms, a bully is someone who can’t get what he/she wants through normal means. What they want is power. When you deny them that power they resort to forceful means to get what they want.

Here is how it works in love and marriage. One of the folks in the relationship wants something – be it a new car, a new apartment, a new dishwasher, or a new toy of some variety. The other person involved in the relationship does not. As you might guess, all heck breaks loose!

The “bully” in the relationship must get what he/she wants. So instead of acting rationally (i.e., Do we have enough money to pay for this?), the bully resorts to name-calling (i.e., You are always keeping me from buying things!”), intimidation (“If you don’t let me buy this I am walking out the door.”), or they resort to making you feel inferior (i.e., How could someone like you be so stupid?”).

If you are like most people, you would rather “have peace.” So in the interest of maintaining harmony in your relationship, you fall prey to the bullying – you give them what they want.

But here is the deal – this strategy never works! You give them what they want and they then do it to you again! You always succumb to their wishes. You always lose. Letting them win is a bad idea.

Read the entire article about why Love by Bullying Never Works
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
For more marriage advice visit their website Simple Things Matter

2 Comments »

  1. 1
    Ann Hannemore Says:

    This is so true. Reading the rest of the article really made me think about how damaging it is to allow bullying to continue. Thanks so much.
    Ann

  2. 2
    TUG Talk Says:

    Great point! Bullies are usually acting out of a place of weakness. I have found that implementing healthy boundaries with healthy consequences can make such a difference for bullies. They feel the painful impact of their choices while learning a new, healthy way to be successful. After all, people without influence usually resort to control.


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